I think I have finally found the perfect job position, and what's even better is that even in this dismal economy - they're hiring.
Yes, that's right - I could be an official Oscar Meyer Hotdogger, and have the once in a lifetime opportunity to drive the Wienermobile.
I even have relevant past job experience from my summer as a Niagara Falls van tour operator. If I can drive a fourteen passenger van around congested tourist areas while telling bad jokes, (They really were bad. I mean bad bad. I'll give you one actual example so you can judge for yourselves. While pointing out a gigantic old barge that has been stranded on the rocks above Niagara Falls since the early 1900's the following joke would be told: There were rumors that the barge was actually illegally carrying Scotch, (no idea if this was an actual rumor, although I think it was just a set-up for the joke.) so now, of course, it's Scotch on the rocks. Yes, people did actually groan. And yes, I did still tell that terrible joke every damn time I drove by.) then I can certainly handle a vehicle shaped like a gigantic hot dog.
So, what do you think? Do I have a future as a hotdogger?