Saturday, April 9, 2011

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

It's blog chain time once more, and Cole started things off by, by, by...

Woooh, okay, this is still difficult for me. Let me just get it out, before I break down completely. She BROKE UP WITH THE INTERNET!

Okay, sorry to yell, it's just kind of a big deal.

Don't get me wrong, Cole had some really good reasons for doing it... and that's what kinda makes things awkward for me.

You see, like the rest of the blog chain (you can follow along starting with Cole's post, or go backwards with Sandra's post directly before mine) I want to support her decision in the traditional way: with Ben & Jerry's and/or tequila, and a constant litany of, "I knew it from the beginning, you were too good for him. It's his loss. His loss."

Except there's one big problem - I am bound by the International Break-Up Treaty, which clearly states:

Mutual friends will be allocated in the following ways:

Friends introduced to the break-upper by the break-upee, will be returned to the break-upee, and will side with the break-upee in all post-break-up arguments. And vice versa yadda yadda yadda, etc, etc, etc.

If you can't decode all the legalize, here it is in a nutshell. I was friends with the Internet first, and if it wasn't for the Internet introducing us, I never would've known Cole at all. That means that as much as I don't want to, and as cool as Cole is (seriously, read her blog and you'll totally think to yourself, 'I totally want to hang out with her in real life.') I have to take the side of the Internet.

You see, The Internet and I go way back. When we first met back in high school, he was so sweet and considerate, always letting me know, "You've Got Mail." Later on in grad school, when for the first time I had a computer that was all mine, we were rebels together, illegally downloading music. And I never could've made it through all my boring desk jobs, without having the Internet there to keep me entertained.

The Internet has also been there for me during this crazy publishing journey - connecting me to other writers and as I talked about in a previous entry, teaching me everything there is to know about the business of getting published.

That's not all the Internet has taught me though. It also helped me learn how to cook and has given me tons of cool recipes to test out, it's given me tons of great book recommendations, and just the other day the Internet showed me how to take the really cool bokeh heart picture at the top of this post.

Sure, sometimes his information is inaccurate and we all know he's worth than useless during a power outage. And okay, yes, sometimes the Internet has done me wrong too. From that terrible blind date it set me up with when I first moved to California, to theKnot planning boards that made me a little wedding crazy, and most recently the Followers box on this very blog that made me momentarily insane as I tried to chase after online popularity.

At the end of the day though, the Internet is that friend I'm really glad to have... even if sometimes I also can't stand him. We'll have fights, but eventually we'll always make up.

So Cole, I understand if you need some time after your break-up with the Internet, but I hope eventually the two of you can eventually be friends. And if not, well maybe we can still communicate a bit behind his back, you know, snail mail me!